Certainly Not Me!

Based upon recent conversations I'm beginning to have I think that I may be some sort of a relationship expert. It seems as if a lot of my friends have been coming to me for advice lately based on some of my blog postings and facebook notes, claiming that I may have "this shit" figured out. But the funny part to me is that I'm miserable. Shouldn't the relationship expert be the one who is happily involved or at least single and waiting? (I guess those who know me know that I'm not partial to waiting) Funny part is that I have a couple of potentials, but nothing that would have me faithful. I guess that's my fault, I think to much in theory. In theory, everything works out as expected. In theory, I meet a woman who stimulates my eye, we have a brief conversation, we exchange numbers, she gives me the right number, and we depart. The next day, I call her to break the ice, she's a little preoccupied so she promises to call me back, and later in the evening, she follows through. We talk about everything and she, being the lady she is makes me wait for it and court her but she still shows interest, not allowing text messages to be our primary means of communication. She isn't holding any dark secrets and saying "hey, this is me, hate it or love it." When we do take it there, the sex is amazing, bone chilling, toe-curling, and incomparable to anything I've experienced previously. She isn't needy of all my time, but demands that she cross my mind daily, and let her know...but again, that is all theory. My problems is that all the women that I want don't want me back, and all the women that want me make me feel as though I could do better. So how do I become this so-called expert if I can't make this shit work for me. How would I look being that kind of loser. I just wanna find love, the same like my parents have. Im just rambling, thanks for listening...