Stunting Like My Daddy...

It took me over 20 years to understand my father. I wasn't privy to the one-parent household growing up because Anthony was live and direct, but sometimes I wish I were. My daddy was in my face, whether I liked it or not, and in recent years I have come to realize that in the end, his was the only respect that I have ever craved. This could be attributed to the fact that I, like most boys, wanted to be just like daddy. Daddy was my hero, everything he did was cool, all his jokes were funny, he even made me want to smoke (thanx a lot for that bad habit pops!). In my later years, prolly that whole teenage rebellion type of this, being just like daddy was no longer good enough. I noticed his flaws and in comparison to my life, felt like I could and would do better. So then I got to the point where I had to be better than daddy. Throwing aside daddy's mantra that hardwork always pays off, I figured I could do better as a white-collar worker, and pay someone to do manual labor. So I selected one of the hardest majors that I could because dad wound up in EE, but he didn't finish. So then I graduated, I got the degree that dad didn't but mom did, I upped mom's GPA by six-tenths of a point, and then upped both of them by going to law school and then passing the bar.

But then, came life. As I embarked upon the real world, I realize that even thought Anthony and I wear the same size shoe, I still can't fit his. This is the man that dropped out of school to put my mom through school, at the age of 23, and married her at 24. This is the same man that spoiled me rotten, and gave me everything I have ever needed, even to this day. And the older I get, the more I seem to understand him. I look at my short comings and feel like I may never match up to this man. I love hearing him tell me how proud he is of me, I never heard that much as a child. Daddy, I love you, and I'm working tirelessly to be the man you raised me to be, although its taking a big longer than I expected, I'm getting there. I only hope you get to see it.

Acceptance...It Really Is Okay

My name is Kellen Anthony Daranda. I am a 26 year old licensed attorney in the State of Texas. I am originally from New Orleans, Louisiana, and a graduate of Southern University. I am the father of an amazing 3 year old by the name of Kaiden Michael Daranda, and I am gainfully employed in this ridiculous economy. To some, that may be enough to shake a stick at, but to me, it really isn't THAT great...

Throughout my life I have maintained a life that was centered around nothing ever really being enough for me. I am my own biggest critic, and this is something that I am attempting to stop. Starting today, August 17, 2009, I will be a new man, a man that is acceptant of what I don't like about my life, and not willing to live a certain way because others tell me I should.

First of all, I am 26 and single. I think I want to be married because my upbringing tells me so. My parents were celebrating 2 years of marriage when they reached my age, so I think I should be there, but the fact that I'm not even close boggles me. However, that is okay. The fact is, I don't really know what it is that I want, not from life, not from my career, not even from a mate. But you know what, that is okay, I'll figure it out.

Secondly, my son's mother irks me saily about money, and how I am a piss poor father, because I don't call everyday, and don't have money to give. I need to let go of my shortcomings and focus more on my son. Which I plan to do from here on out. So what that I'm not making the money that I envisioned, it's okay.

I'm not living like feather in the wind, I know where I want to go, but I can only get there under the right forces. If I don't where I envision, that's okay, I'm a pretty decent person, if I do say so myself!

With Hair...or Without...

Yesterday I became privy to an assumption that I had heard before while in a discussion with my partners but never really crossed my mind. In an office of four men under the age of 35, one could imagine that women are a frequent topic of discussion for us, and yesterday was no different. I was antagonized by one of my partners because in this week I had expressed an attraction to two women under the age of 20 (don’t be alarmed, they were legal), and I used the age-old phrase “if there’s grass on the field then play ball.” But then I had to correct myself because I prefer a vagina with a minimal amount of hair if any at all. Which brought the response, “how can you say that you like a shaved cooter, doesn’t that remind you of a little girls va-jay-jay?” I sat about it and thought for a minute, thinking that outside of changing diapers for family members and friends of mine, I had never seen the privates of anyone less than the age of 14. (I’m talking when I was 15, before yall think something is wrong with me) Now I posed the question of whether preferring a shaven cooch makes me a pervert to a friend of mine and she responded that I more than likely prefer it shaved because:

1. makes it more visually stimulating thus mouthwatering
2. the hair doesn't bother your face
3. it's quite porn-ish
4. it's clean looking.

All of these reasons fell directly with my logic, but then my partners posed a question to me which has me in slump; if I were to see a picture of a prepubescent cooter and a baldly shaven one, would I be able to tell the difference? I think that I could but I’m not sure…I know that I think too much, but this one is really bothering me.

The Problem With Relationships...

I have finally figured out why I am so cautious when it comes to relationships. It isn't because my heart still belongs to my ex, (she hasn't responded yet, but I'll give her a week) but because I know too much and fear that my knowledge is what prevents me from giving someone my all. Everyone has heard the phrase "ignorance is bliss" and I guess that's what prevents me from being blissful in a relationship, because I know too much. I've never been a supporter of the phrase "all men are dogs," but if we are going to put men in this category, lets do the same for the female gender. And then, lets not make a generalization, lets just say women are just as incapable of fidelity within a relationship as men, and many do act on their thoughts. I'm not speaking something that I've heard, I'm speaking what I know. A common phrase that those close to me have heard me say is not one of those inspiring lyrics that encompass my Facebook status; I really can fuck your girl, and often times I do! However, in 2009, I'm trying to grow, and because I know how karma feels, I don't want to engage in those type of activities anymore. I'm not talking about what a female used to do, because I don't want to compare "rap sheets" with any woman, I'm damn sure she wouldn't want to be with me anymore and everyone has a past, I'm talking about what you are doing and have done in the past few years. Are there any good women left?