I Just Can't Forget That...

Man, everything seems to be going right in the world until Piyush opens his mouth...For those of you who are unaware who I am speaking of, Piyush "Bobby" Jindal, governor of Louisiana, is the same pundit whose views reached mainstream America in wake of the 2012 Presidential Election but got shitted on for the Republican nod. He seems to criticize the Republican Party a lot so I'm sure if all this is for a 2016 bid to the White House or if someone really enjoys hearing this guy talk. I know the majority of y'all consider Louisiana to be backwoods and hickish, so I'm not sure if y'all even pay attention to Jindal's stupidity. Anyway, his latest rant, an op-Ed, http://dyn.politico.com/printstory.cfm?uuid=204B316A-BBF4-46A4-81AE-CFD90C1D448C, ran in the wake of the 50 year anniversary of MLK's famous I Have a Dream speech speaks on how America should eliminate the "hyphenated American" (African-American, Asian-American, Latin-American) and become the melting pot of America. Piyush, seems to forget that King was never anti-black, that he just wanted

"His Momma named him Clay, I'ma call him Clay"

people to be judged on who they are, not what they are. And while I admit that I am one in favor of dropping the hyphenations from our names, I feel like its more of a pride thing than it is a crutch on identity. AND that is what King was preaching that just because someone looks or acts differently than you, that shouldn't preclude that person from being declared intelligent, beautiful, or even comparable to yourself.

I got inspired to write this piece from watching The Butler. I personally think its funny how racism becomes out of sight of mind until one is reminded of the days of the South only 50 years ago. While Cecil Gaines developed relationships with most some of the most memorable Presidents in the history of our nation, such was not achieved until they expressed a care of who he was instead of letting what he was define him. Cecil's own acceptance of what was is much like the same attitude Piyush would like us to achieve. The son of Indian immigrants switched to Christianity and was called "Bobby" as a youth and now he wants us to eliminate our own traces to our history. I dont want this to be a comparative piece, but I wonder just how much Piyush would have achieved had he not opted to be called Bobby both socially and formally. Because under that rhetoric, we should just assimilate as much as we can so that us looking differently is of little importance in the grand scheme of things. Am I weird for asking "why?" Because, honestly American society is one that judges, or maybe that's just the human race. Without the definition of race I think society would subject itself to different -isms to judge and ostracize those who aren't the minority. I think all Americans should remember that this country was founded by people who wanted to be different from the masses, but I doubt their intentions were so that their new nation would consist of carbon copies of households as far as the eye can see. Yes, I want you to see me for who I am, not what I am, but when it comes down to how violently you've tried to make me out to be just like you White America, I Just Can't Forget That Shit...

Dear Diary...

Man, its been forever and a day since I've posted and I really need to vent. As usual, its one of those personal posts that I probably should enclose in the password protected contents of my MacBook, but I need to make sure I dont forget it, be able to go back and read it, and who knows, I might just want to share it with someone one day.

About eight years ago, while applying to law school, my personal statement echoed my own sentiment that I could find a poem, song, movie, or television show to verbalize my thoughts, and tonight was one of those nights. My girlfriend of the past 21 months and I have been going through our own set of personal issues and I thought we were making progress until I watched tonight's episode of The Game. In that episode, Malik stepped into his mother's therapy session and the psychiatrist went into Malik's maternal issues that reminded me of my own relationship issues. Malik is afraid to express himself because he's afraid of Tasha acting out in a way that would hurt his feelings because he hurt his mother, and that's the way I feel about my girl. I feel trapped...unable to express myself and my views on things because I'm afraid of how she'll react. And like Malik, the world views me as a strong, independent, well-defined man, but I don't feel like that around my woman, I feel emasculated, that I have to do what she wants and accept what I don't like or I'll lose her. But WHY?

Ive never had too much of a problem finding a woman, and not just scallywags, women that other men would lust over and use as motivation for a late night fap session. Not only that, I'll admit that I know women who are sexier and more attractive than my girl, but I have never experienced someone who loves me THIS much. Only problem is, she loves me more than I do her. So I put up with this shit, because I believe in karma and think that I've probably broken so many hearts in my day that this might be it for the kid. I'm getting older, fatter, and losing hair, nobody would really want me, right? I mean the only issue with our relationship is twitter, which I have used to be my uncensored take on the world, free from judgment, and not really giving a fuck if my followers did judge me. I get yelled at because of the thirsty heauxs, not because Im trying to fuck them, but because I agree with some of their sentiments or because I ridicule them, which I dont really understand. So I dont tweet as regularly as I used to, I no longer blog, I just try to keep a smile on her face, because you know what she deserves it.

But what do I deserve? I deserve to not be questioned, to get my things on track, to find a woman that will help me to achieve the greatness that I know I am capable of. Because like Malik, my goal in life has always been to get out of the hood and make a name for myself but how can I when I feel TRAPPED?

Oedipus Complex

I don't want to marry my mother, by no means, but I'd like to be with a woman just like her. Don't get me wrong, my mom is an amazing woman, but that's my daddy's woman. As long as I've known, my mom has been the primary breadwinner of the household, and in my youthful ignorance I could not understand how money did not equate to power. You see, my mom ran the household, she made the most money, she handled the day-to-day business, and my father, in his simple country demeanor didn't say too much, but when he put his foot down, I've never seen her question him.

Sometimes, I've even gone as far to question in my head that if she doesn't need him to survive, then why would she willingly submit to him, and his foolish thought patterns? I've even remarked that love must be a powerful thing to see her do that, but in my later years I have realized and yearned for the need for a man to be a man. While my dad doesn't make as much as my mom, he still comes home to a home-cooked meal at least four days out the week, and with my recent struggles I see how important that is. So, in my usual fashion, I leaned on my friends for a different perspective on that which I did not understand to get a better feeling on what's the right way to feel about such a subject matter.

I had a married female friend of mine who told me that her husband, the love of her life, was unemployed for the first 9 months of their union, and even though she felt the stresses of paying all the bills of the household, she still managed to cook for her man, take care of the kids, and keep the house clean. And when her man became frustrated by their situation and his inability to contribute, she dropped down to her knees, sucked his dick, and encouraged him that tomorrow was a new day. I was astonished at her dedication to this man, but even more shocked to learn her reasoning for engaging in such actions. She told me that she could have kicked him in the ass while he was down, but the household would function better with two incomes so she had to keep him on his grind and focused since she wasn't in the place where she could offer him suitable employment.

Then it hit me, that's what a real woman is, one who encourages her man to be the best that he can be, she doesn't belittle him for not matching up to his or her own expectations of what a man is/should be, but gets him to where she wants him to be and where he needs to be. She focuses on the good that he does, the happiness that he provides and overlooks his shortcomings because we are all human and she realizes the things that she puts him through. I immediately compared her to my mother and gained a whole new perspective on the woman who gave me life. Then I realized that not only did I desire a woman who like my mother was a thick yellow bone, but I wanted her to exude the same dedication that my mom showed to dad. And after realizing that point, I had another friend (male), who assured me that women like our mothers don't exist anymore...damn...