You May Love Her/Him, But You Love YOU More...

This posting is a follow-up to a blog of mine written on February 22, 2009, entitled "Love Is."

In the past few month I have switched my main points of contention in light of why I, as well as a lot of other people cannot find the type of love that many of our parents still have. When I wrote "Love Is" I was convinced that the problem was in many people's definition of love. But after reading the commentary on the posting via my Facebook notes, I have realized that my problem is not with defining love or in expressing it, but moreso in the application of it. I have thought for so long that no one was worthy enough to get all of me and my love, but I had another one of my spellbinding epiphanies the other day while discussing the death of the golden anniversary.

A few friends of mine were discussing on a message board how our generation may have killed the golden anniversary and the logic behind such a statement. Well one person's posting really hit home to me. They stated that reason why marriage is so short lived is that we are starting to value ourselves more than anything/anyone else. When you have many hip hop artists and pop culture icons saying things like 30 is the new 20, and 40 is the new 30, no one wants to be there own age anymore. Everyone wants to enjoy their time/freedom for as long as possible and forever is not a thought to be entertained unless we have our shit together.

Frederick Douglass once said that "without struggle there is no progress," but when it comes down to relationships without struggle there is no appreciation. What kept our grandparents together was the struggle that they shared together. In that day and age, getting married in your 30s was damn near unheard of, and the same followed true in our parents day and age, but mostly with the generation before them. Getting married in the 20s, fresh out of school meant that the two would struggle together as the worked to build their finances, their family, and other things that make a relationship/marriage work. Today it seems as though folks just want to press a button and add a spouse to the equation; they want to already have the house, already have the job, already have the car, and add a spouse and children to the equation. That is why marriages don't work these days, we are becoming so self-sufficient that when the first sign of trouble hits, we run because we were and most likely will continue to be fine by ourselves. We haven't learned what it is to appreciate being with someone in the good because we don't really know what the bad is truly like...

Coonery...at Essence???

The following blog is based upon a blog post that can be read in its entirety here

So, it seems that the breakout of coonery has spread to the media outlet of Essence Magazine. Now I know that some of you who did not take the time to read the link are probably in disbelief that Essence the magazine that has been empowering Black women for decades would stoop to the level of BET's coonery in an effort to sell magazines. Even as a man I know Essence to be one of the few readily accessible sources of positivity in the black community. The artists that perform at the Essence Music Festival in New Orleans are ones who do not reduce themselves to a level of "niggardry" in their art and the Essence Fest also has empowering seminars and a job fair in addition to the concert that is the primary reason for those who come to New Orleans to be in attendance. Essence's blog posting entitled "A Man's World" is no doubt designed to give black women insight into the inner psyche of the black man, a quest that has been going on since the beginning of the human species and far exceeds race, geographical area, and many other socio-economic factors. So in helping the woman on this journey, it would be beneficial to either have an expert on the discussion topic, or just an average guy, right? And that is where I am quick to throw the proverbial red flag and review this being considered coonery. Essence would have us believe that the average black male or expert on the black male in America believes in the "jump-off."

For those of us who aren't privy on what a jump-off is, it is synonymous with what we in New Orleans call a "booty buddy" or a relationship that is entirely based upon sex. While I'm not going to be a hypocrite and pretend that I've never had a jump-off, I am concerned of the message that this post sends out to the general public. Basically Jozen Cummings' point in this whole posting is that women should not take offense to being the jump-off because it takes a lot of work in keeping the jump-off happy. Again I am not going to act like he's not telling the truth, but I'm not sure that this is the right message for Essence to convey. I've read some of Cummings' other blog and have realized that this ignorance probably comes from him being employed by VIBE. In the era where the black man's name has truly become mud, where most women think that he is truly concerned with himself and his insatiable desire to smash any and everything that walks, is it appropriate to have a man co-sign to this? Did BET drive all of our media outlets crazy and now we must perpetuate every negative stereotype that is prevalent in the Black community?

The Pelican State of Mine...

For those of yall who say that Jay-Z is a walking dinosaur who has no status or grounds to talk about what is relevant in Hip Hop today, I really encourage you to give Blueprint 3 another listen. I know I may be speaking too early or moreso from a personal standpoint, but the track Empire State of Mind is definitely a classic in my opinion. The funny part is that I find the song inspiring although I'm not from New York and haven't been there in years. Which got me to thinking, in my course of trying to make New Orleans the worldwide centerpiece that I believe it should be (DARANDA FOR MAYOR...koming soon), if I were to capture New Orleans in a song, who would I put on it? I know Wayne is probably the obvious choice, but I dunno how well Mr. Carter would promote the message I'd try to give. I mean I'd want this track to be on some legendary shit, kinda like Jay and Alicia did. Hmmmm...I think I'll have this settled by the time I kome up with a campaign, but I have a more pressing blog that I need to write...

Do You Know Your Rights...

I engaged in a discussion today with a woman I met in family court in which she asked me how can I be a defense attorney representing the guilty which left me thinking about the judicial system of the United States. I can't say that I am appalled because it wasn't until I actually started practicing that I realized that the legal field is on a deeper level than simply guilty or non guilty. I often wonder if a large percentage of Americans look at defense attorneys as those who advocate for the guilty. But the funny part is that a lot of people feel this way until it is their child/sibling/parent who is the one considered to be guilty...

Tell 'Em Why You Mad, Son...

First of all, if you haven't seen the debauchery that has been the subject of many a tweet, Facebook status, blog, and vlog, please click this link...

Now, I know that this has been widely commented upon and the like, but since I'm not a total fan of other genres of music other than Rap, R&B, and Reggae, I actually didn't catch the VMAs last night. Besides, this is my blog, and I'll write on whatever I want (sorry, I had a Kanye moment).

Kanye West, Mr. Super Producer Extraordinaire, what else is there to say about you? You have been outspoken in the plight of my fellow New Orleanians in our strife with the federal government ("George Bush doesn't care about black people"), and you have never bit your tounge when it come to matters that you find important but let me go ahead on and help you out a bit, Mr. West. First of all, I love how opinionated you are, and furthermore, I admire your asshole tendencies (takes one to know one, right?). But secondly, Kanye must come to terms with what I am slowly grasping, that being an asshole is not always admirable. (Some will be in shock that I said that) Kanye, we all understand how hard you work, and how far you have come, believe me, we do. But sometimes your rants make you seem more like a primadonna, spoiled rich girl, or pissed-off ex-girlfriend than the self-proclaimed "New King of Pop." Besides, didn't you say that you don't fuck with Pop after feeling disrespected at the 2007 VMAs? Now for my contention...The award that was given was not Kanye's to win, thus making his comment unnecessary and a showing of bad judgment and ungentlemanly amongst other things. Kanye told us all about how George Bush really feels about black people but what he failed to realize that a large percentage of White America doesn't care about black people. Michael Jackson was the first black performer to crack in the MTV video rotation as a frequent showing, so what makes you think that it would be entirely different in 2009? It is still White America who watches MTV, and you know they love their darlings. Think Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, or Britney Spears before the drugs, you can't say anything bad about them. So why would you think that Beyonce would have one that against the new little darling of 2009? Kanye West must realize that to whom much is given, much is required, and that turning on White America knowing that they are the ones who actually buy records, might not be the smartest of moves. That was an embarrassment to Black America. Kanye has proven to America that he is brazen, but had no thought behind his actions. MTV does not control who wins what at the VMAs, the fans do, and in that he should consider American Idol, Americas Best Dance Crew, and even the Presidential Election and come to grips with that fact that for the most part, Black America doesn't vote.

And the end of the day, its not as racist as I and others allude to, Kanye just needs to think before he acts, before we all look at him like the Mad Rapper of old Bad Boy Records, okay he's mad, but no one really understands, and no one really cares. You wanna dress like a gentleman, then act like on, Mr. West...