I GOT IT

Its truly amazing how and when things dawn upon you. I have said that I despise living in Houston because of the fakeness of its natives and how they have collectively thrown me into the category of a “typical” New Orleanian. Although I will admit that a lot of my mannerisms, speech patterns, and thoughts are exclusively New Orleans, an overwhelming amount of people in the Houston metropolitan area still manage to believe that such characteristics are less than desirable and I have allowed them to sway my opinion of myself. Well, the past two weeks have allowed me to gain a better understanding of my life in Houston and I think I have it figured out.

To those of you who have read my recent blog postings where I went Kimbo Slice on all of my achievements and personality and extended a phone call, text message, or just stopped me in person to check on me and make sure I was okay, thank you, I am thankful to have you all as friends. The kind words of encouragement and just concern for my well being meant a lot to me and even came from some sources that I would never have expected. Such random acts of kindness coupled with the message I got in church this past Sunday have led me to believe that after 25 years and some change, I’m finally starting to figure parts of this thing called life out.

This Sunday found me in church, a place that I’ll admit I attend more on occasion as opposed to the frequency of my youth or last year in undergrad, but the priest at ST. Mary’s gave a Homily that was right on time and did not fall of deaf ears. Father talked of a conversation he had with one of his seminary classmates in which the classmate inquired as to God’s method of answering prayers. The classmate stated that he asked for wisdom and God gave him more problems to solve, he asked for understanding, and found himself with people who were hard to deal with. Such a statement profoundly affected me because I thought I was the only one who was bewildered by the direct opposites that have come from my own requests.

I’ve asked God for wisdom in my studies and my last two times sitting for the MPRE and the only sitting of the Texas Bar left me with results that were less than desired. I have asked for love and have received more platonic friendships with the opposite sex than I thought were possible. My desire for greatness has left me feeling unfulfilled with my apparent failures, and the search for independence may have me living back with my parents before the end of 2008. Such responses have managed to frustrate the same man who wants to tattoo the phrase “adversity causes some men to break, others to break records” across his back. This same man who regards the 10 and a half weeks of hell on the journey to Phi Nu Pi as what made a man of him at 19 was confused by encountering a series of minor setbacks that were in fact the answers to his prayers.
To my friends who have been concerned with my stability or apparent lack thereof, please don’t worry about me, that’s just my inner spoiled brat coming out and not being accustomed to encountering rejection. I’ve realized this past Sunday that I’m not a failure and that my prayers are definitely being answered. So as I go back to hiding under a rock in preparation for the February bar, pray for me with the same fervor you did in July, this time I’m bringing it home!