***DISCLAIMER*** I can
only look at the profiles of women, so don’t think I’m only picking on the
ladies here…
So you joined Tinder and/or SoulSwipe because you’re lonely,
too wrapped up in the technology age to actually converse with real people that
you find attractive in everyday chance meetings, or you just don’t know what to
do. Maybe it was what your girlfriend told you about some guys that she met on
there, maybe it was the promise of a few free meals and/or outings. Or maybe,
you were excited about the fact that only the people you pre-approved are able
to contact you. Whatever your reason was, you joined, and you keep on running
into the same losers you did in the real world, but I wonder if you, like most
people, fail to ever point the finger at yourself when you fail to get the
desired outcome. Allow me to clear up a few things.
#1 Guys are not as dumb as you think we are, especially if
it concerns box…
This one is fairly simple, men who are merely looking for
sex know that dating and the like is merely a numbers game and they know
exactly how to play the numbers game, you “go at necks.” Some guys have figured
out that the only way to ensure options is to like every profile they come
across and not to even really look at or attempt to find out what a woman is
about until they are matched. This is where you meet the guys that come off
really perverted, or those that just want to “hook up,” or a majority of the
“netflix and chill” contingency comes from. Ladies, do not get mad at these
men, because all humans are indeed creatures of habit. This whole rhetoric of
directly approaching you with intentions of getting to know you in the biblical
sense may seem a bit off to you because you are “not that kind of girl,” but
it’s HIS go to because, it has worked! ***Now
this is where guys may come off as dumb, but if something works for us one
time, we will keep that shit like it’s the secret to immortality!*** It’s
kinda like the infamous unsolicited dick pic, it has worked before, that’s why
he does it. And if it has not worked, he’s hoping that his bluntness may cause
you to do something u might not ordinarily do to the tune of the YOLO craze
that happened a few years ago. Don’t cuss him out, tell him you’re flattered
that he finds you so attractive, that you’re not interested, and block him;
problem solved.
#2 Telling me what you don’t like or are not here for tells
me nothing about yourself…
Also, most times it just proves that either you are a liar,
overly negative, put out the wrong energy about yourself, or a combination of
the three. It is a well proven fact that in most cases when a question is
answered before it’s asked, the response is a blatant lie. You telling me what
you’re not here for often means that, “I’ll probably fuck you after the first
date, but I don’t want you expecting it.” Secondly, never diminish the power of
the mind. You have the power to speak things into existence, both positive and
negative, the more you focus on the negative, the more of your reality the
negative becomes. Finally, yes being politically correct means that we should
put our best foot forward, and especially when representing something other
than ourselves, but some just don’t give a fuck. Ever wonder why every guy
comes at you wanting sex? Because all of your pictures are of you in bikinis,
tight dresses, or have tons of cleavage! Yes you have the right to dress any
way you choose, and you can demand that a man not make you feel uncomfortable
when u dress that way, but you can’t stop him from thinking it.
#3 Stop subscribing to these asinine stereotypes because YOU’RE here, like the rest of us…
The problem with meeting people online or in a majority of
social settings is the negative connotations attached to certain things. You
know, “girl, you can’t find love in the club, all them niggas in the club only
want one thing,” or “girl, you can’t find love on the internet, that’s where
all them crazy niggas are.” This one here is also rectified fairly simply.
Let’s say that you and 3 of your girls went out just to have a good time. In
this particular venue, there are about 300 people, are you seriously willing to
bet money that you and your entourage of 4 are the only “normal” people here
who aren’t prowling, putting on their manners and fake persona all in the name
of finding their next lay? ***well,
expect for Kisha, she a lil “off,” but yall go back to the 7th
grade.*** The odds are even stronger with the internet, you are not the
only normal person on there either. There are crazies everywhere and there are
people who are just not personable, this is not their fault, especially if
someone has previously let them get away with it. The real way to effectuate
change is to take a bottom up approach, so tell your desperate ass homegirls
stop caving in to that fuckery because she’s tired of her drought, and demand
more of men before giving up the goods.
#4 If all your pictures are face shots…you’re fat. We get
it, we know it, love yourself first, and someone else will follow suit…
SELF EXPLANITORY
#5 Put out the energy you seek…and learn how certain things
work…
OMG! How many times have I seen a profile that states: “When
you approach me, don’t be basic and just say ‘hey,’ come with something unique
and interesting.” Umm, this is quite confusing because all forms of
conversation start with a greeting. In fact, don’t we always say “hello” when
answering the phone? Interesting dialogue and conversation come from mutual
interests and sometimes opposing points of view. However, I cannot take that
initiative when your bio is blank or you fell victim to #2. Also, saying “ask
me anything,” or any other form of that question means that you are not confident
enough in yourself to highlight your good qualities and want me to find them,
or even worse, you don’t know these highlights exist. For my final point,
realize that these swipe to talk apps are largely based upon physical
attraction. And let’s be frank, physical attraction only means that under the
right set of circumstances, I’d smash. So if you don’t want me to comment on
what attracted me to you, which may be inappropriate given the person with whom
you’re corresponding, give me something.
These are just a few things that were on my mind. As with
most of my posts, I’m probably just preaching to the choir, but if you agreed
with a point or two, then share. I just wanted to put something out in the
world that’s been on my mind for a few months. Please stop being coy with your
friends, let them know that it isn’t the application that they’re using that’s
causing these dreadful results. As I learned before when I worked in IT, 90% of
the time, it’s USER ERROR!
***HAPPY SWIPING
FOLKS***
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