Love Always Finds a Way

It’s funny how it took for me to acquire the wisdom of 23 years of life, a college degree, and become a father myself to realize just how brilliant my own father is. Now I’ve been out in the streets and have developed the tags of being a “heartbreaker” and a “player,” all because my mom was always in my ear saying; “Son, you’re too young to be serious with that girl, have fun and enjoy your life.” So I looked at love and relationships like I was too young to be serious about it all, and my logic was based upon the fact that it all came from my mother and she’s a female herself. And I moved through my life realizing that since I was young and being serious was not of the urgency required by other endeavors of mine, I played and figured that it was okay to be with more than one girl at a time, actually combining the well-liked traits from each one to make Nas’ “Perfect Bitch.” But it wasn’t until this weekend that I realized that those times when I decided to go against my mother and give a female my all, that I was actually doing what was right for me. Although the few particular occasions where I was serious all managed to blow up in my face, I still haven’t given up on love yet because I believe despite all obstacles, love will find a way.

Now my father, the proud, hard-working man who rarely says much sits down in a funk beside me on the sofa on Sunday. He was upset that my mother gave the same rhetoric to my 18-yr old brother about his girlfriend. The two are 5 hrs apart and in love, trying to make things work despite one being in college, and the other in the last year of high school. And it seems like love is finding a way for those two. But my dad had a flashback to the fall of 1974 when a young couple with a history of around a year was faced with a “see you later” that would send one to La Crosse, WI, and the other to Baton Rouge, LA. What if they had listened to others who may have given them the same advice, shit, I wouldn’t be here, and who knows what wonders or hells might have occurred in their alternate existences. My dad just looked at the ceiling with a sigh and said, “that’s why you can’t let other people live your life for you. Only you know what makes you happy.” And then I had an epiphany, maybe I’ve let so many “good girls” fall by the wasteside because I was letting other people decide what happened with MY relationship. One particular woman from my past reminds me of Jay-Z’s lyric; “Once a good girl’s gone, she’s gone forever, I’ll mourn forever, I gotta live with the fact I did you wrong forever.” And I feel that with that one particular girl.

So although I consider myself damaged goods, I don’t ever see myself giving up on love. Even those instances where I chose to give a woman my all and they ended up horribly wrong are not considered regrets. In the end I guess Alicia was right; “my soul has returned, so I call it a lesson learned.” Thank you, Daddy, for allowing me to gain some kind of insight on how I should continue becoming a man. Thank you to those of you who have managed to clarify what I should be looking for, and thank you, Jesus, for giving me the strength to continue on for my search for Mrs. Right, or have I found her already???