Facebook...

I used to laugh at people who were unable to keep their relationships in control once Facebook was introduced, but now I truly see how it can affect people's lives. On Wednesday I posted a status that read; " Kellen A. Daranda-Esq was just told that its okay to let go and fall in love; WHERE DEY DO DAT AT?!" as a satirical comment to something one of the women in my life told me. (Before you even formulate an opinion, know that I'm doing better, and I'm only seeing two at this point in my life.) I know that I have reached an age where women are no longer trying to date for the sake of dating and have meaningless sex with random guys they encounter and neither am I, the problem is that neither of the women in my life have me at a point where I can see forever with either of them, and all the women who make me feel as thought I could fall in love with them are just dating for the hell of it and enjoying single life. Love has never been a word that I have taken lightly, and when I say it I mean it, so I'm not a hypocrite in that respect, but I just need a woman who is what I want, and then I can build on that, but I digress. This status update invoked an interest of mine to send me a text which read, "So Kellen no longer believes in love, eh? Hmmmm..." Which shocked me cause this is a woman who ranks high on my list of favorites, sexy as all I adore, beautiful, nice job, nice car, nice apartment, silly as hell, with a love for family, basically all the building blocks I would need to fall in love, but she's always busy. I elected not to respond to the text, but I'm like damn woman, if you would have stopped playing games and disappearing, we could have been happy, together, and in love, a long time ago.

Well, the plot thickens...

Thursday night, I made plans with a friend who went to PV for her to come over and for us to watch the game and get fucked up, which we did. Now this friend is someone whom I used to be intimate with, but she and I haven't slept together in a 4-6 month period. After PV won the game, she decided as a penalty that I should have to take a picture holding up a PV bag and post it to Facebook. Well, I let her do it, knowing the truth behind the circumstances with us watching the game (and no we did not sleep together Thursday night), but baby girl (the one who invoked the earlier status) blew the fuck up via text messages and writing on my Facebook wall. I don't need to be slick on this one and actually plan on writing her a lengthy letter in which I spill out everything instead of just koming at her with my usual game and getting out of trouble. (yeah, I'm that effin good) I need to stop playing games, I aint shit unless I'm with a woman who I feel like is worth it. Until that time comes, I'll just continue to do me...

The problem that I've brought on myself which has caused this Facebook debauchery is the answer to one of the questions I've had in my mind for the longest as to why marriages don't work and things of that nature. I had proposed part of an answer and based it upon people getting married for the wrong reason, but its also because of folks settling. I now realize this because this is why baby girl is getting mad at me and feeling like I'm not ready, because I'm not, at least not with her. Me deciding that she would make a prime candidate for a girlfriend and potentially a wife was all based upon me settling and thinking that because she was the better option amongst the table scraps that I had the choice of eating, that things would work. So I told her that I hoped to move forward after I took care of somethings, namely, getting the rest of the random women out of my life, and she was like okay. Well, the day after I told her that I met the second of the women that I am dating and she blows baby girl out of the water, so of course I took a step back on the relationship and continued to play. The problem with number 2 is I don't see her as girlfriend material either, but honestly, she's growing on me.

Allow me to recant my earlier statement, Facebook does not get people in trouble when they are on their shit, meaning that they are doing what they need to do to sustain a positive social and love life, but when people stop being honest, Facebook is an instantaneous way to get their skeletons out of the closet, and with that being said, I plan to move forward and be more honest....