Welcome to Our World...Karma is a Bitch!

Although this blog is kinda sorta copied from a note i wrote on facebook, its still applicable today...

"WHAT'S THAT, YOU SAY?
YOU'RE TIRED OF KATRINA-RELATED NEWS COVERAGE?
WELL GUESS WHAT
WE'RE TIRED OF FUCKING LIVING THROUGH IT
SO FOR YOU, YOU WITH YOUR OPTION TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL
DO THAT
BECAUSE FOR MANY OF US
IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING SIMPLE......"

And with that I move on to my Houstonians, the people with whom I am to share a place of residency for the time being or at least until I can find that six-figure paying job in Dallas, my favorite city in Texas. Its funny how three years ago Houstonians were dealing with another storm, except that time Bill White was the good mayor who came to the aid of the poor, helpless, and stupid New Orleans residents who lost everything. I heard so many people ask me "why didn't those people leave;" to which I responded, that part of it was ignorance, the rest, pride. And then 3 years later Texans who were encountered with Hurricane Ike and issued the same evacuation warnings that New Orleanians recieved for Katrina elected not to leave and look at what happened.

So, Mayor White, let's talk turkey. Okay so after Katrina you allowed the people who were stuck in the Superdome to come to Houston and gave them the Astrodome, awww, you're the savior of the city of New Orleans, but I really believe that you had your own agenda in doing so. If not, you would have told the New Orleans residents you were coming to get them BEFORE the storm. Im pretty sure Bush gave you some type of benefits for agreeing to take the downrodden into your "great" city. The same city of peace and love that apparently never had any crime before the "refugees" came to Houston, where people on the "Nawfside," 3rd Ward, Acres Homes, and Hiram Clarke, etc. could sleep with their doors unlocked. A sanctity that was destroyed by the New Orleans people. Yeah Mayor White, I remember your press conference when you announced that it was time for the New Orleans people to go home, I remember how your children said that we were all too lazy to get back on our feet because we were so dependent upon FEMA. And now Houston, you too know what it feels like to be in a home with no power, no running water, and to even be subject to a curfew in your own city. Welcome to our world, Karma is a bitch aint it?

So am I wrong because outside of my friends and people who were sympathetic to the plight of New Orleans evacuees, I don't feel sorry for folks in Houston? Sometimes fucked up things happen to good people, however, I guess this is one of those instances where the good indeed have to suffer for the bad...I guess next time you'll think before you speak.

Konfessions...

I honestly don't think I passed the bar. There, I said it. My blogs usually serve to cater to how much of an "attention whore" I am, but this is one where I just need to let everything out and not have to deal with a response. The other day upon driving to New Orleans to evacuate from Ike, Lyfe Jennings' Stick Up Kid came on my Ipod, and that's when this epiphany finally hit me. I used to say that I had no earthly idea what would propel a man to a life of crime, but sometimes things really do become just that hard. I mean I FELT Lyfe on that song, these niggaz are riding around with their 23s and DVDs in their ride, with the vast majority of them not gaining this material bullshit legally, and I got 2 degrees, one of which is a doctorate, and I dunno where my November rent is coming from. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SHOW MY CHILD THAT EDUCATION IS THE WAY IF IT AINT WORKING FOR ME? But let me not drag my child into this, he's literally a life safer these days. Ive been looking at my recent circumstances and having suicidial thoughts, Kaiden is prolly one of the few reasons why I'm still here. I have $114,000 in debt, $1,000 in my account, I owe my son $4,000, I dont have a job, I can't quit smoking, will be taking the MPRE for the third time, and I don't have a decent boo, let alone a girlfriend. But oh I have degrees, peices of paper that I struggled hard to receive, but in the end, I'm not seeing any return on my investment, either of them. People tell me all the time that I am too hard on myself and things will work out, but what if they don't...what if they don't...

Letter to HBCUs

Dear Historically Black Colleges and Universities,

You and I have known each other for years through the relationships that you have had with both of my parents. However once I joined the ranks of your children, I, like most other children have some questions that only you can answer. These questions have been festering in my mind like a bad infection and now that I have joined the prestigious ranks of your adult children, its time you give me the answers that I require.
How do you feel about integration and its disparaging effects on your livelihood? There are many "simple negroes" in America that have yet to realize that less than 60 years ago you were the only readily accessible source of educational sustenance for those who desired more out of life. Now we have CNN specials on what its like to be black in America and the "experts" on black culture were not your children but those who came from ivy league schools. Now now, my love, I'm not blaming you for this, because you are probably one of the few ideals of Booker T. Washington's reformation that I support, however, somewhere in there these same individuals who meant good were suckered into believing what their educators taught them. This is similar to how slaves were tricked by their masters into believing that black was bad, ugly, and dirty, while white was innocent, beautiful, and pure. Why do we hate ourselves and our history so? I have seen students at Louisiana State, Florida State, The University of Houston, and a few others look down on their cross-town or cross-state counterparts for being under your loving care. These same "simple negroes" are quick to disclose how they are the "talented tenth" and should be afforded this chance for a "better" education, but if they never took that African American literature course, or read The Souls of Black Folk they'll continue to think that this "better" education was worth the price of their identity.
Mother HBCU, where are you failing? When we look at your statistics, we see longer enrollment periods before graduation, higher rates of attrition, higher crime, more incidents of sexually transmitted diseases, and bigger hazing stories to name a few. Wait, let me add to that question and ask are you really failing or is it all the media? I'm curious about this one because I was under your care when Southern finally granted opposite sex visitation legally, I listened to my friends rants about not having a car on campus their freshman year, while my friends at predominantly white institutions just shook their heads and remarked "damn, yall got it rough." But why is that, mother? Seems like there must be a reason. Your administration tells us that freshmen should focus on school and get acclimated to college life, but they don't have the same restrictions at those PWIs and nothing seems to happen to our brothers and sisters there. Is that because humans have a natural tendency to go against order or is it because your instructors aren't doing what they are supposed to?
Momma, what did it feel like when they raped you? The same people that consider you inferior institutions are steadily acquiring your campuses, assimilating them into their systems and changing the missions you have had in place for HUNDREDS of years. In the case of the legal profession, there are 5 of your centers whose graduates make their mark as 80% of all black attorneys in the nation are your children. But even those are in danger of being shut down for failing to meet standards that even some of these "superior" institutions fail at. Furthermore, how do you feel when the majority of the nation are allowed to attain you benefits free of charge under cries of reverse racism when affording college or gaining acceptance into one was never an isue for them? We'll let them have your accolades and what not, because you'll never love those kids, right? I just have to know.
I didn't mean for this letter to come across as disrespectful, or even as a challenge of your authority, I just hope that if you answer some of these questions for me, we can work towards getting you to be what you were intended to be, showcases of black prowess in academia, athletics, culture, and arts. And as I return to New Orleans I only hope that you will be as good to my little brother at Florida A&M as you were to me in the eight years you had me.

Proud to be Your Son,


Kellen A. Daranda
Bachelor of Science in Electrical Engineering
Southern University and A & M College '05
Juris Doctor
Texas Southern University '08

Its krazy how it does...

On the eve before the biggest test of my life, I am reminded of something someone told me about a week ago; "stop making every big moment of your life analogous to pledging, life does go on after you get off line." However, things that I have learned as a lowly scroller have helped me along through life. I have learned to do the difficult and strive for the impossible, and I have had the harsh realization that life is "hard but fair, sad, but true." However the most applicable thing is the last thing I heard before I crossed those burning sands, William Earnest Henley's Invictus;

Out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be, for this my unconquerable soul,
In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance, my head is bloody, but unbowed,
Beyond this place of wrath and tears, looms but the horrors of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years, finds, and shall find me unafraid,
It matters not how straight the gate, nor how charged with punishment the scroll,
for I am the master of my fate, I AM THE CAPTAIN OF MY SOUL.

And how fitting that on this night, I am more ready for this test than I have ever been throughout the course of these last three months. You see, in the darkness that is the unknown, I am thankful to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, that I didn't manage to let law school take my soul from me. In Lady Justice's evil clutches, I have not let my emotions show to the general public and the tears I shed were in the privacy of my own home. And while my legal pursuits have roughed me up, I have yet to hang my head. After the bar, there is more darkness and unknown as I do not know where my life is headed. However, I am not scared, I embrace my uneasyness and am ready for whatever life (or the Texas Board of Law Examiners) may throw at me. Because it doesn't matter what you throw at me, nor how my past may come back to haunt me. I am acceptant of what I have done, and I know that God helps those who want to be helped. So with that said, I control my future, and I dictate what happens, although I know this is in God's hands now, I have done all I can.

So as I lay my head down to go to sleep, I would like to thank my prophytes of Alpha Sigma for teaching me, that I STARTED pledging on April 7, 2002, at 11:44:08 PM, my friends for their support and words of encouragement, my family for their love, support, and words of wisdom, my son for giving me the drive to continue, and last, but certainly not least, God, for giving me the ability to come this far, and a chance that I do not intend to waste...Kellen Daranda, ESQ is coming, I hope the world is ready for him...

Education Still Does Not Cure Us of the "Crabs in a Barrel Theory"

I hope that this entry is not beating an already dead horse, but in order for me to ensure my “sniper” status (one shot, one kill) on the bar, I have to get this off my chest. First of all, with the whole Jesse Jackson situation, I believe Cedric the Entertainer said it best in one of the Barbershop movies; “Fuck Jesse Jackson!” With the excitement that Senator Obama has caused in regards to the 2008 Presidential Election, I really do not see how Jesse can realistically hate on the man for doing something that he wasn’t able to do 20 years ago, become the first black man to make a serious run for the Presidency of the United States.

It is bad enough that Obama has to deal with the possibility of being elected merely because he is black as if that doesn’t scare the masses enough, to encounter the “haters” that hip-hop culture has immortalized. The New Yorker recently published one of its issues where Obama is categorized as a Taliban in the oval office with a picture of Osama Bin Laden on the wall and his wife, Michelle, looking like a renegade Black Panther.

Now I know the New Yorker will no doubt defend this as an exercise of their First Amendment Right and probably label it as satire or a parody, however it is blatant racism, in my humble opinion. I also know that this does not have the Constitutional muster to rise to a defamation claim, its kinda funny when you really see how people view you. I actually praise the honesty, in hopes that more people would let their true colors show instead of opting for the fraudulent skin of being politically correct. But when its obvious that the masses still regard us in such a manner, why should we criticize ourselves even further. Seems like Jesse is just mad because someone cut off his balls a long time ago.

Like Cornel West said, “Most present-day black political leaders appear too hungry for status to be angry, too eager for acceptance to be bold, too self-invested in advancement to be defiant. And when they drop their masks and try to get mad, their bold rhetoric is more performance than personal, more play-acting than heartfelt.” Okay Jesse, so you want to cut the man’s balls off, but honestly since the 60’s what have you done that would actually stand to rival Barack Obama? You marched with Dr. King, you were there when he was assassinated, you started P.U.S.H. and have worked with the Rainbow Coalition, however, since those days, you and your cohort Al Sharpton seem more interested in asking “where the cash (and or television cameras) at?” I believe Lil Wayne expresses a similar sentiment on behalf of Al Sharpton on the Carter III’s Misunderstood. Yall feel more inclined to parade around ignorant negroes like the Jena 6 rather than focus on real issues. For the record, I believe that the sentence that the city of Jena attempted to impose on the 6 young black men was a bit over the edge, but in the end, they were still criminals, who did not deserve to be paraded around like our black heroes on the BET awards and through various other media broadcasts for directly opposing the same non-violent attitude that Dr. King was famous for. I don’t know what I would have done if placed in a similar situation, but I wonder how Jesse would feel if Barack took his statement under a guise of provocation, and slapped the shit out of him? Maybe then he might get some respect.

Furthermore, Senator Obama has brought passion back into the Democracy of the United States. This past semester I wrote a paper on the Constitutionality of requiring federal or state-issued identification in order to exercise the right to vote, and the effects that such legislation would have on blacks. It seems as though we as a people still remain acceptant of mediocrity and wonder why the rest of the minorities of the United States are bypassing us exponentially. Its because we continue to hate on each other, kill each other, and make up reasons for our lack of drive in wanting more from our government and expecting more from ourselves. Okay so we were enslaved, so what we never received our 40 acres and a mule, so what the United States is letting immigrants come to this country and accommodate them by still letting them speak their language, SO THE FUCK WHAT?! When we came here, by force, they didn’t value us the same as other human beings and in the past 100 years or so, we’ve only slightly increased over that 3/5ths standard that we used to be held to. So what that Barack Obama has a lot of people voting for him strictly under the rhetoric that he is black and has a black wife, if that incites the American public to go back and exercise their right to vote, then I’m all for it. Most people do not know that the last presidential election in which a majority of the eligible voting population voted was 1968, 40 years ago. And keep in mind that was during the Vietnam error, which follows true to the traditional strategy exercised by our Commander-in-Chief while in search for reelection; start a war. I’m not here to rant and rave about Obama and why he should be president, because anyone can do better than that idiot Bush, I’m just trying to stop the hating.

Another example of how education does not kill the crabs in a barrel theory is that in the past week I’ve had several of my classmates remark that it was time for me to let my locs go in favor of reformation for a successful legal career. Why the hate? Because someone cut their balls off and they were scared to be an individual, they would like to see my testicular fortitude removed in a similar fashion. I’m sorry homeboy, but I’m not you. Cutting my hair in order to become successful is a LAST RESORT, I REPEAT, LAST! For us as a people to get our house in order we must fist follow Walker and Texas Ranger’s advice; “Get your balls back.” If we stop worrying about what the next man is doing, and why he is doing things that we cannot or were unwilling to take the risk to, we can never hope to rise above how the masses view us. I’m pretty sure if those of us, including you Jesse, who lost our balls get them back and focus more on self-reformation rather than why you can’t do what he can/is doing, it will be much better, can we do it? Yes we can, Black America, please don’t make this one of the rare instances where I am wrong…

This Can't Be Life

It is officially 5:02 AM CST, July 18, 2008, and the Texas State Bar Examination is approximately 11 days away. While I try not to think about this upcoming date for fear of suffering from a nervous breakout, I shake my head in disdain when I look at what my life has become in a matter of 4 years. And the sad part is that I can’t even blame myself for this one. Okay, as a man I have to take responsibility for the fact that I finish every activity I engage in, but the initial decision was not my own. I recall the fall semester of 2003 in which my line brothers Ivy and Myron managed to talk into my head the possibility of doing engineering work absent math; patent law. While I had my doubts about law school the two managed to present me with flattery stating that I was one of the smartest people they know and how despite my argumentative nature, I had always managed to structure my arguments around readily accessible evidence and dismissed counter-arguments that were based on personal opinion. I guess maybe that’s that inner-spoiled-brat coming out, but I am not totally opposed to compliments if one is trying to talk me into something! So I busted my ass studying for the LSAT, was granted admission to every law school I applied to only to discover than none of my line brothers who convinced me to pursue a legal career would be joining me, and neither would two others who long considered a legal profession. So I came to Houston seeking new experiences and knowing about 5 people when I touched down. I’m discontent with the lack of originality of Houston natives, discouraged by my inability to find a potential mate here, and scornful of the lack of genuineness exhibited by attorneys, law students, and their administrators and professors. So is this really life? Those who have spoken with me this summer can attest to my frequent demeanor in which I confess a hatred for what my life has become. 8-12 hours of studying daily, sometimes more (today I was at it from 1-4, 5-7, 8:30-12, and 1-5AM) with all the sporadic-ness of someone searching for something in the daytime with a flashlight. Maybe this aint meant to be, but with the cost of a luxury automobile ($110,000) in loans, forgive my French but, this shit gotta work, there isn’t room for anything else…I don’t know what I expected from a legal career as it wasn’t my decision to pursue, but now that I’m here, I’m stuck feeling like Jay; “This can’t be life, this can’t be love, this can’t be right, there’s gotta be more, this can’t be us.” I rarely know what day it is (the week or the month), I miss my son, and I just want something else…Please tell me there’s more…